Comments from “Why Not To Look Up That Old Flame On Facebook; Or, How To Wreck A Perfectly Good Marriage”

Although a recent Time magazine column made it sound as if friending an old flame on Facebook was just as likely to produce boredom as passion, you and I now know otherwise. Do all old flames represent a threat—or is there a profile for dangerous liaisons? How do married folks handle trust in an e-dominated world? What’s the divorce rate of reunited lost lovers who marry one another? Does jealousy serve any good purpose? How can you find a trustworthy mate—and affair-proof your own relationship? Do affairs “just happen”—or are they usually planned? And if you’re already in a quandary with a Lost Lover, where can you turn for help? Read on!

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Comments from “Write About Your Love, build a virtuous cycle” 

Guest author Jena Pincott’s column about research on the benefits of writing about one’s beloved generated these interesting topics: Journaling as a way to handle emotions about grief and other (non-romantic) relationships; whether both members of a couple have to journal for both to benefit from it; whether instant messaging can kindle feelings of love as well as journaling does; whether journaling might lead to better sex; and how acting all mushy can create happier couples even when they weren’t happy before. Enjoy!

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Folk Wisdom: Passionate Kisses

Wise Readers, Although passionate kissing is practiced in 9/10ths of world cultures, research only considers the views of the very young and/or unmarried.  Partnered or formerly partnered adults and those over age 25 are rarely asked their opinions.  So, here’s your chance!  Please pucker up and Click Here to answer 8 questions about Passionate Kisses for a future Love Science column.  (With thanks to an inquisitive Love Science reader for help in launching this idea and creating the survey.)   XOX, Duana


Why Not To Look Up That Old Flame On Facebook; or, How To Wreck A Perfectly Good Marriage (REVISED)

About 25% of us have one: A Lost Love from our youth who didn’t become our forever mate. And it’s only natural to wonder whatever happened to them. But for the married among us, it may be best to keep those musings to ourselves. This post—the first and most popular at Love Science—is updated per new data from paramount Lost Lovers researcher Dr. Nancy Kalish. Fascinating new details are here, but they only strengthen the core message: Unless you’re single, divorced or widowed—don’t look up that old flame on Facebook.

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"Write About Your Love", Build A Virtuous Cycle

Wise Readers, This week, please welcome science writer Jena Pincott, whose fascinating blog and book Do Gentlemen Really Prefer Blondes? were referenced in last week’s post. May you enjoy it as I do— and see you next week for more Love Science. Cheers, Duana “Let go and explore your very deepest emotions and thoughts about your relationship.” That’s what psychologists told their study subjects to do, in a journal or diary, for twenty minutes a day. They had a theory that writing about a lover could make love last longer…

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