Q&A from “WHEN OPPOSITES ATTRACT: Happily or Crabbily Ever After?”

Wise Readers, If opposites attract, why is similarity so much easier? And what can be done to convince your head *and* heart that his/her personality isn’t…personal? How accurate are we at discerning our own personality? Would others know our type? What about introverts with extroverts, or worriers with calm people—how does that work? And…what if your Opposite is just plain mean and disrespectful to you? Read on! Cheers, Duana

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WHEN OPPOSITES ATTRACT: Happily or Crabbily Ever After?

Dear Duana,I love my husband, but I’m demonstrative and affectionate and affirming, and Sean…isn’t. Is there any research about opposites attracting, or whether complementary personalities can cause more problems than they solve? Dear Nina, Sounds like you’ve got a classic Gap going on—where one person prefers soul-searching intimacy, and the other prefers that when he said he loves you (at your wedding), that should stand for the Remainder Of Time. Common in male-female relationships, I suspect the Gap is often based in a specific personality pairing you and Sean may have…

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The Fisher Personality Test: Do Opposites Attract?

Wise Readers, In response to your many queries, we’ll soon be addressing whether and when *opposites* might attract…and whether they can remain together happily as a complementary pair where each completes the other—or whether the dishes suffer over-much in a union where there’s more friction than function. Which means it’s time to find out what your personality type is—and whether you are now, or have ever been with, someone whose personality differs substantively from your own…

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Q&A from "SETTLING 101: Traits For A Mate"

Wise Readers, Why is starting with love beginning backwards—and what can making a Traits For A Mate List do for you? What if you know what your Standards are, but you’re having a tough time sticking to them? What (incorrect) cultural messages encourage us to Settle for matches that won’t work? What happened to Readers who stuck by their standards in the past—and those who didn’t? Why do people resist making The List? And how detailed should it be? What about complementary traits—don’t opposites attract, too? Read on! Cheers, Duana

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SETTLING 101: Traits For A Mate

Dear Duana, I’m dating Viv, a woman who is never satisfied with what I can give….I love her, but I’m unhappy and I don’t think this will change. Am I being too picky and tossing away my best shot at love if I leave, or is staying settling? Should I find someone I mesh with better? Dear Charles, Dating is the time to pick the one who makes your heart sing, not the one who’s got you singin’ the blues. Although it’s tempting to advise dropping this relationship like a dinnertime telemarketer, *you* are the expert on you and your needs. Let’s leverage that expertise to help you answer your own questions so you can get a relationship that is more joy than job—whether with Viv or someone else….

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