Comments from "Her Cheatin' Heart: Infidelity's Aftermath"

Wise Readers, Prevailing cultural wisdom says unhappy couples should divorce for the sake of the kids; adultery is always a good reason for divorce; and couples who are unhappy will usually stay that way. Yet science has disproven these ideas. Is there a need for divorce—and if so, when? Do men and women cheat for the same reasons? Which aspects of an affair are the least forgivable for women versus men? And what do real-life women say about their affairs? Read on!

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Her Cheatin’ Heart: Infidelity’s aftermath

Dear Duana, Two years ago, my wife’s wandering attention prompted me to scope phone records, where I found many lengthy calls to another man. Although she claims it was only emotional, my gut says otherwise…Do I divorce her, or is there some way to quit feeling so jealous and angry, forgive her and prevent this from happening again? Dear Tristan, As Dr. David Buss says, eliminating your jealousy “…would be like smashing a smoke alarm to solve the problem of a house fire. Successful coping requires dealing with the fire.” You sensed emotional heat at a minimum—and perhaps a full-on sexual blaze. And you stopped it. But what now?…

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Comments from “Why Not To Look Up That Old Flame On Facebook; Or, How To Wreck A Perfectly Good Marriage”

Although a recent Time magazine column made it sound as if friending an old flame on Facebook was just as likely to produce boredom as passion, you and I now know otherwise. Do all old flames represent a threat—or is there a profile for dangerous liaisons? How do married folks handle trust in an e-dominated world? What’s the divorce rate of reunited lost lovers who marry one another? Does jealousy serve any good purpose? How can you find a trustworthy mate—and affair-proof your own relationship? Do affairs “just happen”—or are they usually planned? And if you’re already in a quandary with a Lost Lover, where can you turn for help? Read on!

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Comments from “Write About Your Love, build a virtuous cycle”

Guest author Jena Pincott’s column about research on the benefits of writing about one’s beloved generated these interesting topics: Journaling as a way to handle emotions about grief and other (non-romantic) relationships; whether both members of a couple have to journal for both to benefit from it; whether instant messaging can kindle feelings of love as well as journaling does; whether journaling might lead to better sex; and how acting all mushy can create happier couples even when they weren’t happy before. Enjoy!

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Folk Wisdom: Passionate Kisses

Wise Readers, Although passionate kissing is practiced in 9/10ths of world cultures, research only considers the views of the very young and/or unmarried.  Partnered or formerly partnered adults and those over age 25 are rarely asked their opinions.  So, here’s your chance!  Please pucker up and Click Here to answer 8 questions about Passionate Kisses for a future Love Science column.  (With thanks to an inquisitive Love Science reader for help in launching this idea and creating the survey.)   XOX, Duana