How To Find Normal Men (or at least avoid the Weird ones)

Dear Duana,I’m mid-60s and widowed, and I keep meeting bizarre men no matter where I look…where are the normal, available and willing men? Dear Judy, it’s important to cast a wide (Inter)net, as you’ve done, but it’s not enough to ward off Weirdness. Time, then, for some alternatives to the Alternatives you’ve found… (And young ‘uns, keep reading…there’s info for you here, too.)

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Why “Better Than Nothings” Aren’t

Cora’s my best friend, and while I’ve fallen for her, she doesn’t return the feelings. I’ve tried taking breaks to rein in my feelings, but all that broke was my resolve. Is she keeping me from finding someone else? How do I get over her without losing the friendship? Dear Judson, while Cora’s enjoying a great friendship and can probably spend many years being Just Friends, you’re involved in something else altogether: The BTN…

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Q&A for “Keeping Him Faithful 1.0: Five guys to watch (out) for”

Wise Readers, The first step in *keeping* him faithful is *finding* a him who wants to be true to begin with—and who lacks the Opportunity, History & Experience to cheat. But what if he’s got a History—and claims to have reformed? Why *not* use the genetic test for men’s fidelity? Is there a fidelity test to use on women? And isn’t being so logical kind of killing love’s buzz? Read on!

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Q&A from "SETTLING 101: Traits For A Mate"

Wise Readers, Why is starting with love beginning backwards—and what can making a Traits For A Mate List do for you? What if you know what your Standards are, but you’re having a tough time sticking to them? What (incorrect) cultural messages encourage us to Settle for matches that won’t work? What happened to Readers who stuck by their standards in the past—and those who didn’t? Why do people resist making The List? And how detailed should it be? What about complementary traits—don’t opposites attract, too? Read on! Cheers, Duana

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SETTLING 101: Traits For A Mate

Dear Duana, I’m dating Viv, a woman who is never satisfied with what I can give….I love her, but I’m unhappy and I don’t think this will change. Am I being too picky and tossing away my best shot at love if I leave, or is staying settling? Should I find someone I mesh with better? Dear Charles, Dating is the time to pick the one who makes your heart sing, not the one who’s got you singin’ the blues. Although it’s tempting to advise dropping this relationship like a dinnertime telemarketer, *you* are the expert on you and your needs. Let’s leverage that expertise to help you answer your own questions so you can get a relationship that is more joy than job—whether with Viv or someone else….

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