Conquering Confusion: He loves her? He loves her not.

Dear Duana, I’ve been dating Cal for half a year, during which he’s introduced me to his parents and taken me on weekends with his friends. He hasn’t called me his girlfriend, hasn’t said he loves me and hasn’t asked to be exclusive, but his friends said Cal talks about me more than anyone else he’s dated. We have great sex, but there’s never a mention of the future. I can’t stand the confusion anymore…. Dear Julie, There’s a gold standard for confusion, and it’s this: inconsistent words and actions. Be warned: Confusion is your cue to open your eyes and find out what’s going on, because *something* is wrong. But what? Here’s how to tell whether he Loves You…or Loves You Not…

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How To Forgive *Yourself* (when you really screwed up/around)

Dear Duana, I’m living with horrible guilt for an affair that ended four years ago. My wife forgave me, but I still feel like scum. Please tell me how to forgive myself. And please don’t hate me. Dear Ryan,I don’t hate you—not at all. But I wonder if you do, and whether we should both hate guilt. How do you cast that burden aside and move forward with a clean heart?

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When things fall apart

Wise Readers, In every life there are times when things fall apart, times when your heart aches. Times when you need a village, but your village is burning…

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Q&A from "How To Forgive An Affair (he won't admit)" (Updated & Revised)

What if your partner wants the gory details of your affair? Why is affair betrayal less acceptable to most of us than other betrayals? Don’t cheaters cheat again? What happens when parents tell kids about their affair(s)? And why doesn’t forgiving mean forgetting? Read on!

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How To Forgive An Affair (He Won't Admit)

Following my recent tip-off about Henry’s two-year infidelity with a colleague, he ceased contact with Anne, joined me in therapy, and apologized for endangering our marriage. But he won’t admit he had an affair, or tell me anything about it! He insists Anne was “just a good friend” he never mentioned because he didn’t want me upset. Well, I’m beyond upset. Why is the truth so hard for him to tell? And (how) can I forgive him—for my sanity and our unity and our family?

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