Wednesday
Oct142009

Comments from “Passionate Kisses: Too much to ask?”

Wise Readers, Your resounding response to the Passionate Kisses column? No!—It’s not too much to ask! Beyond that, you had questions: Why is the husband’s (but not wife’s) memory for courtship such an important predictor of whether a marriage will last? Is there a distinction between emotional and physical passion—and can either one last forever? What if you’ve got a permanent relationship problem—can you still be happy? Read on!

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Monday
Oct052009

Passionate Kisses: Too much to ask?

Dear Duana,Meg and I have been married 17 years, but we’ve never had a spark when we’ve kissed—even from day one. Does the lack of passion in our kissing mean anything? Or should it be enough to have values and interests in common? Dear Bart, Your questions remind me of “Passionate Kisses” song-writer Lucinda Williams’ lyric: “Is it too much to ask?” Absolutely not—yet you aren’t feeling it, and say you never did. Here’s why I don’t believe it, and what you can do to put some Zip in your Doo Dah…

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Monday
Sep282009

Comments from "Her Cheatin' Heart: Infidelity's Aftermath"

Wise Readers, Prevailing cultural wisdom says unhappy couples should divorce for the sake of the kids; adultery is always a good reason for divorce; and couples who are unhappy will usually stay that way. Yet science has disproven these ideas. Is there a need for divorce—and if so, when? Do men and women cheat for the same reasons? Which aspects of an affair are the least forgivable for women versus men? And what do real-life women say about their affairs? Read on!

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Wednesday
Sep232009

Her Cheatin’ Heart: Infidelity’s aftermath

Dear Duana, Two years ago, my wife’s wandering attention prompted me to scope phone records, where I found many lengthy calls to another man. Although she claims it was only emotional, my gut says otherwise…Do I divorce her, or is there some way to quit feeling so jealous and angry, forgive her and prevent this from happening again? Dear Tristan, As Dr. David Buss says, eliminating your jealousy “…would be like smashing a smoke alarm to solve the problem of a house fire. Successful coping requires dealing with the fire.” You sensed emotional heat at a minimum—and perhaps a full-on sexual blaze. And you stopped it. But what now?…

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Monday
Sep212009

Comments from “Why Not To Look Up That Old Flame On Facebook; Or, How To Wreck A Perfectly Good Marriage”

Although a recent Time magazine column made it sound as if friending an old flame on Facebook was just as likely to produce boredom as passion, you and I now know otherwise. Do all old flames represent a threat—or is there a profile for dangerous liaisons? How do married folks handle trust in an e-dominated world? What’s the divorce rate of reunited lost lovers who marry one another? Does jealousy serve any good purpose? How can you find a trustworthy mate—and affair-proof your own relationship? Do affairs “just happen”—or are they usually planned? And if you’re already in a quandary with a Lost Lover, where can you turn for help? Read on!

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