Entries in Finding the right partner (7)

Tuesday
Jan062026

YES--*You* can find your true love story in 2026!

YES—*You* can find your true love story in 2026!

Today marks five years since Kerry and I met. We’ve been happily wed for over three of those, and happily everything for all of them. I cannot imagine a better partner for me.

When we met online, we were both in our 50s and divorced. We both had adult children. We both had challenges. We were both lonely even though we had good lives; we just missed having our person. And we both wanted the whole enchilada: neither of us was willing to compromise on having what we needed in a partner, and both of us knew what that was.

And we were in good company.

Did you know?

*The fastest-growing group of daters is over age 50.

[I’m writing a book for y’all right now! Keep an eye out for Love Factually at Midlife and Beyond: Your ultimate guide to finding love at 50-plus—coming in 2027!]

*The biggest online dating months every year are late December through March.

But:
*The biggest roadblock to your finding love is _______________.

I don’t know your answer to that last item.

But I can tell you what’s kept a lot of my midlife-and-beyond clients single before we started working together: plain old fear, whether we call it worry or something else.

*Fear of repeating a negative cycle/feeling stuck in a negative cycle of picking bad matches.

*Pessimism that either nobody good is out there—or if they are, they will choose someone else.

*Terror at showing their naked older body to someone new!

*Worry that they’re asking for too much, while knowing that in the past, they settled for too little.

*Fear of closeness, and/or fear of not finding someone who wants to be close enough.

*Concern about their grown kids’ reactions to a new partner.

*Worry about revealing difficulties—health and financial and other challenges—to someone new.

*Fear about taking on someone else’s difficulties—health and financial and other challenges.

*Anxiety about ruining their already-pretty-great life by choosing The Wrong Partner. People come to me with a lot going for them. They’re in the mid-to-late parts of a life they have carefully built—a life that may already have been torn apart by earlier relationships. They don’t want someone coming along who will screw it up!

*Feeling overwhelmed and stuck about not knowing the most effective way to go about finding someone.

*And more!

Yet I found my person in midlife; my clients—men and women, younger and older, gay and straight— have; and you can, too.

In fact, I *knew* I would.

In mid-December of 2020, I went on a podcast and predicted that I would soon meet my man. I said I knew there was someone out there right now, a great guy, searching for me and wondering where I was.

(Take a moment to picture your own great person who is out there looking for you. Because: they are! Doesn’t that feel good?)

Kerry reached out to me three weeks later—one week after I posted my (scientifically-crafted) ad.

He said he saw my profile when he was hiking. He turned on his heel and ran back to his computer: he didn’t want to answer from his phone. And although we could not know it for sure at that point, this was the real deal—for both of us. That night, we spoke for almost 3 hours. To this day, there has been just one 24-hour period where we did not talk (and that was because I was not available). We are crazy about each other!

So how did I know Kerry and I would meet? How do I know you can meet *your* person?

Because—and please read this twice—I. Had. Virtually. No. Competition.

None.

Hear me out.

*Most single mid-lifers aren’t actually online to find a partner.

Many think they are. But in reality, their fear is running the show and sabotaging their prospects. So they’re online to say they’ve tried everything, or to find a penpal, or to see who’s out there, or to kill time when they’re bored. They’re not competition.

*Of those who are trying to find a partner, the vast majority are following bad (and I mean scientifically-proven bad) advice that sounds right but just is not.

They don’t know how to present themselves, quickly (and I mean fast!) assess others’ profiles, ask the right questions, have appropriate standards and stick to them, pace the relationship for success, and more. They’re not competition.

*Of those who are sincerely trying and are following solid, science-based information, many are not emotionally fortified:

They are easily overwhelmed, and quickly give up or fall back into old patterns; they are derailed by fear and self-sabotage, even after they’ve started dating a one who could be The One. They’re not competition.

I had virtually no competition because I was totally committed to finding a terrific partner, I knew exactly what works—not my opinion, not my friends’ or TikTok’s opinion, but solid science for every aspect of dating, from before you meet until you decide to commit—to get a perfect-for-me mate, and I knew I would do everything it takes to emotionally stay the course until—well, years, if necessary. (But if you’re really doing The Thingstm, it does not take that long! http://www.lovesciencemedia.com/consult/ )

Where you and *your* future amazing partner (!) come in:
This.
Can.
Be.
You.
And.
The.
Best.
Time.
To.
Start.
Is.
Now.

I see you. You need support, hope, direction, control, confidence, clarity, and a plan that will work for you, specifically—based on fact, not strong but wrong opinions. I will make that plan for and with you, and hold your hand every step of the way: http://www.lovesciencemedia.com/consult/

Book a free 15-minute mini-session with me and let’s see if working together is right for you. I am passionate about using best-practice science to help you find and keep the love of your life for the rest of your life. I’ve done it for myself. I’ve done it for my clients. I’ve done it for 30 years now.

Let’s do it for you: http://www.lovesciencemedia.com/consult/

 

Want more love in your life? Whether you’re single, partnered, or questioning anything about relationships, get coaching with Dr. Duana Welch, the original Love Scientist and Love Factually author:

 

Enclosure

Wednesday
Sep282022

Finding The One and Celebrating It

Wise Readers~

Guess who is getting married in just a few more days?! 
Yep—my love and I. 

And that’s why you haven’t heard much from me lately. 

Did I use *everything* I teach and write about to find him, to connect deeply, and to build our lives? Yes! And I want to share it with you. 
So here are three special podcast episodes—all about finding and keeping love, based on science not opinion—and I’m just now releasing them for the first time: 

1.  https://podcasts.apple.com/…/how-do-i…/id1183475201
How do I find the love I deserve? (Special Singles-Week episode with Dr. Karin of Life & Love with Dr. Karin)

2. https://www.buzzsprout.com/1177217/11265807
Using science to attract The One for you (Women In The Arena episode with Audra Agen)

3. https://www.toginet.com/…/SparkingWholenessLIVE_2021_11
What is clear communication, anyway? 
Want more love in your life? Whether you’re single, partnered, or questioning anything about relationships, get coaching with Dr. Duana Welch:

http://www.lovesciencemedia.com/consult/ 
#duanawelch
#LoveFactually
#LoveFactuallyRevisedandUpdated
#datingcoaching
#datingcoachingforwomen
#datingcoachingformen
#datingadviceforwomen
#datingadviceformen
#datingadvice
#onlinedatingcoach
#relationshipcoaching

 

Photo is my love—Kerry Thalmann—and me, May 2022


Wednesday
Apr132022

How to find your person

Wise Readers:

Where is she? Where is he? 

You’re ready, already! You want love, and you deserve it. But where is your person?

That’s what today’s podcast is all about! Get the details here:

https://pod.link/1551679405/episode/97815838b13283022e075d0312bdc56f

***Want more love in your life? Whether you’re single, partnered, or questioning anything about relationships, get coaching with Dr. Duana Welch:

 http://www.lovesciencemedia.com/consult/

 

#duanawelch

#LoveFactually

#LoveFactuallyRevisedandUpdated

#datingcoaching

#datingadviceforwomen

#datingadviceformen

#datingadvice

#onlinedatingcoach

#matchmakingservices

#marriagecoaching

Wednesday
Jul282021

Are You Asking The Hard Questions Up Front?

Do you want to get married? Have kids? Live together? Need to know if your partner would move to be with you? Whether they would convert to your religion? Whether you’d be expected to convert to theirs?
Whatever the issue, don’t wait to ask the hard questions. Do it early in the relationship, ideally before it’s even a relationship. Here’s why—and how— at my NEW podcast on Last First Date:

 

Wednesday
Jul072021

What Does Compatible Mean To You?

Want the quick take on what it takes to find a compatible partner? It’s knowing what compatible is for *you*. Get the quick take here in this Love Factually feature on Optimal Living Daily:


#LoveFactually
#datingadvice
#datingtips
#datingcoach
#duanawelch