Folk Wisdom: (How) do you get rid of someone who's making a play for your partner?
Wise Readers,
It happens. Sometimes, an outsider—an old flame, a new flame, an unknown, an all-too-known—makes a play for our partner. Maybe it’s someone throwing themselves at our husband, or wife, or boyfriend, or girlfriend; maybe it’s subtler than that. But whether the interloper is representing as just-a-friend or an open threat, our Spidey Senses are suddenly on red alert. And next week’s letter is from just such a person.
What do you think a person should do in that situation—if anything? That’s the subject of this week’s questionnaire, and next week’s LoveScience. This link will be up until Saturday, so please answer the short (6-item, anonymous) questionnaire yourself—and then pass the link along to others.
http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/MJDS956
Thanks, and I look forward to presenting your answers and the science next week.
Cheers,
Duana
All material copyrighted by Duana C. Welch, Ph.D., and LoveScience Media, 2012.
Do you have a question for Duana? Email her at Duana@lovesciencemedia.com. You’ll get a personal reply, and if your letter is ever used on-site, it will be shortened and details including your name will be changed to protect your identity.
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Reader Comments (2)
When my guy was hit on, I would join in, tease him about it, "Ooh aren't you, irresistible!" It always made me feel proud of him and happy to see him feeling attractive. It juiced up our own relationship. I never had to worry about him straying. I was lucky that way. Past tense, yes we split up a long time ago but it was for other reasons.
In my opinion, it's your partner's job to fend off the person. Coming from you wouldn't mean much to them if they already know that you're together. It could possibly embarrass your partner, too, if you cut in and say something Also, sometimes they really aren't making a play for your partner. An immature/ insecure person can confuse friendliness with flirting. However, if it makes you uncomfortable, even if it's not a real play, and isn't "flirting"...you should say something to your partner and devise a plan together about what to do. You don't have to define the issue to decide how to combat it together.